Had the blackbird already ventured to draw its golden initials at the bottom of the night or, warned by obscure channels, was it silent?
Pierre Bergougnioux, The birds
moments of truth
a young blackbird tries his hand at singing: day after day, he tirelessly repeats the same bits of melody in the grey drizzle of London spring
over the course of a week, its emerging song punctuates the stages of a double fall: a financial scam and the break-up of a long-standing relationship
on the one hand, a lengthy administrative and legal procedure begins, while on the other, two worlds diverge and drift rapidly away from each other
desillusions ? reminders !
on the material level, the verdict is clear: a brief moment of inattention is enough to trigger an inexorable slide into the funnel of manipulation; there are always warning signs but they are not listened to
on an energetic level, precise adjustments take place and the coincidence of the two events does not seem to be fortuitous
the scam left me with no financial means, so I decided to file a complaint: by expressing my indignation I stood up straight
however, nobody can get to me by stealing my money because I remain untouchable, unaltered
as for breaking off the relationship, a power game based on money can buy anything! coloured the exchanges: I wasn’t fooled by this drift, yet I didn’t take a stand, I was inhibited
so it took a scammer to grab my money without getting access to my energy, to put an end to the relationship with someone who was paying me to feed off my energy
cut it short!
suddenly both relationships end
the blackbird messenger !
six months later, at the Paul Klee Centre in Bern: in the soundscape of the temporary exhibition “Kosmos”, the whistle of a blackbird is suddenly heard
in a fraction of a second, the palette of colours and the richness of forms on display in the works on show are reduced to ashes, curtain! everything becomes grey, acrid, thick, frozen, I am caught up in another timeline
a metallic taste in my mouth, the scammer’s honeyed voice whispering in my ear, I stand there, paralysed…
overwhelmed by the lingering whiffs of a fateful week, I let the storm pass me by
and then I turn my attention back to that part of me that signals its vulnerability
I have to let go, let it out and support it, reassure it, soothe it, ask for outside support and take care of it myself
after a deep psychological and energetic cleansing, I’m back on my feet, the bait is no longer the bait, in short, the affect is defused
no longer afraid of the blackbird !
song of the blackbird
gone, the bird, whitewashed, the blackbird
a year later, the police investigation has come to nothing, and neither has the private investigation: the complaint file is definitively closed
the arc of the circle that had been stretched for eighteen months is gradually loosened, I relax deeply
and then, in a film, a rainbow appears …
my lawyer deplores the fact that in the world we live in, crooks manage to be better than the legal system
no surprise there !
so the money’s gone, all the savings for my old age are gone!
I suspected it, and in fact I knew it all along
unless there was a strong material impact, demanding a reaction and a concrete commitment on my part, the multidimensional scope of the experience risked going unnoticed
victims usually remain silent about the fraud they have suffered (out of embarrassment, shame, powerlessness or despair), or they rationalise it by reducing the hard blow to material damage, or they evacuate it by taking refuge in another plane of consciousness: but in my case, the dry loss was radical, it jeopardised my economic equilibrium, and I had to face it head-on!
did I ever hope to recover the money ?
not really ! although I didn’t ‘bank on the loss in the hope of a pleasant surprise’.
I started proceedings because I felt they were justified rather than in the hope that justice would be done
it was for the sake of example, because a victim can stand up and oppose fraud, if, at least, he or she is not destroyed
all this as an affirmation of who I am, of my truth and my righteousness
it can also be seen as a performative act: shining a spot of light in the midst of all the dirty deceptions.
both sides
in this story, on the one hand I’m being ripped off and on the other I’m asserting my voice
and since one can’t go without the other, it’s neither good nor bad, the two situations being two sides of the same coin
by means of this “double face”, it is easier to uncover the unconscious tendencies on which the baiter may have played in the scam. It’s a psychological sleight of hand: a truthful detail is put forward by the swindler, then he boldly bluffs, throwing arrows in several directions with the intention of eliciting a reaction. If there is any sign that the prey believes something, he grabs it and wraps his pitch around it: the mechanism is set in motion and the rest follows
a closer look at the scam strategy raises other questions:
– why a person is a designated prey
– the type of prey and the type of predator
– the conscious and unconscious motives for predation
– the exchanges in predation
and, as we explore them, we see not just the underbelly but other dimensions of the affair … I won’t go into them here …
abundance
let’s keep a broader perspective: what justifies stocking up, putting aside for later, just in case?
it can no doubt be useful to envisage future needs, but anticipating how these might be met would be like drawing a line in one direction within a space, limiting it to this single projection
a friend asked me the other day: “have you filled up since the scam ?”
as for growing feathers again: yes and no !
yes, I’ve grown a few, I’m not in the red
no, I don’t have any reserves for a rainy day, and perhaps that’s no bad thing
when it became difficult to face up to the current deadlines, people close and less close to me me offered to help, and I was very touched by this
but there’s more: their impetus resonated within me, broad, supple, consonant waves enveloped me, supported me and contrasted sharply with the relentless downward spiral of the scam
in the end, I didn’t have to call on my friends. Was it pride ?
rather because the currents generated spontaneously by their generosity helped to stabilise my financial movements, which eventually balanced out
when I woke up the next morning from a dream, these words echoed in my head: “life on earth is abundant and full of resources”
it’s so true!
without a cushion for later and the concern to preserve it, I lack nothing
the currency of exchange, money, comes and goes, it circulates
when it comes to satisfying a need, fulfilling a desire, answering a call … the means always present themselves, usually in unexpected ways
in this way, my life has become freer and more joyful
Olivier Messiaen, The blackbird
as I come to the end, I’d like to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to my dear blackbird, who has been the guiding light and a decisive revealer in this adventure!
